A Bereaved Mother's blog
It’s been more than two months since Richard has passed, taken from us tragically. I am now realizing my thoughts and feelings need to be written down. Not because I need to get them on paper, but because there are many people praying for me, wanting to reach out and help. I’m not capable of putting my jumbled thoughts into a conversation, because a conversation is two way, and I’m not ready for the words that come from the other side of the conversation. I thought it would help if I could write them down, for people to read, so they know I feel their love, I just can’t interact right now.
I also have a new realization of how precious life is, and how it can be taken from you in an instance when you least expect it. If I am taken suddenly, or even if live another 50 years I want my children and grandchildren to understand who I am, and what I have experienced.
Richard has left us several journals from his childhood that I will treasure forever. They have brought me closer to him because I get to read his inner most thoughts, which I was unaware of at the time they were written. I wish while he was living I would have found those journals, and been able to talk about them with him.
Finally, I need to write because I know it will help me heal. I don’t have a choice but to move forward, I know that, what my new life looks like, I still don’t know, I just need to write what I am feeling now so I can start to figure out- What am I suppose to do with my life?