lizx4boys

A Bereaved Mother's blog

Monthly Archives: February 2012

Exhaustion

I never imagined there is a level of exhaustion that is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. 

Exhaustion in my bones

Exhaustion I can’t catch up on

Exhaustion 8 hours of sleep doesn’t even put a dent in

Exhaustion that gives new meaning to the word exhaustion for me. 

When my kids where young I used to say I could have an” all nighter” (sick kids up all night) if I had 30 days of rest.  If I had 30 days of good sleep I could miss a full night and not miss a beat, but I was in my 30’s.

I never imagined I could be knocked to my knees to the point of complete exhaustion. Complete and utter physical exhaustion.

I realize that the last 6 months of my life have been exhausting, but when do I start to feel “not tired”.

I’ve tried coffee, and I can get my brain moving, but not my body.  I can’t get motivated to start exercising again, I just want to stay in bed as long as possible. 

I realize it will take a long time to adjust to my life without Richard, and the stress of this tragedy and transition to my new life is taking its toll on me.  I just never imagined anyone could get to this point, and still function.

I look at people now and think about what they are suffering, and are they living through something that is putting them in place of exhaustion?  I was blissfully unaware of the pain in the world, and the toll it takes on you physically.  Unfortunately I now am experiencing this, I would give anything to go back in time prior to August 30,2011, to remember what it feels like to be happy, healthy and well-slept again. I miss my son.

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