A Bereaved Mother's blog
February 28, 2012Posted by on
I never imagined there is a level of exhaustion that is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.
Exhaustion in my bones
Exhaustion I can’t catch up on
Exhaustion 8 hours of sleep doesn’t even put a dent in
Exhaustion that gives new meaning to the word exhaustion for me.
When my kids where young I used to say I could have an” all nighter” (sick kids up all night) if I had 30 days of rest. If I had 30 days of good sleep I could miss a full night and not miss a beat, but I was in my 30’s.
I never imagined I could be knocked to my knees to the point of complete exhaustion. Complete and utter physical exhaustion.
I realize that the last 6 months of my life have been exhausting, but when do I start to feel “not tired”.
I’ve tried coffee, and I can get my brain moving, but not my body. I can’t get motivated to start exercising again, I just want to stay in bed as long as possible.
I realize it will take a long time to adjust to my life without Richard, and the stress of this tragedy and transition to my new life is taking its toll on me. I just never imagined anyone could get to this point, and still function.
I look at people now and think about what they are suffering, and are they living through something that is putting them in place of exhaustion? I was blissfully unaware of the pain in the world, and the toll it takes on you physically. Unfortunately I now am experiencing this, I would give anything to go back in time prior to August 30,2011, to remember what it feels like to be happy, healthy and well-slept again. I miss my son.