A Bereaved Mother's blog
It’s been a long time since I’ve written, I just didn’t have anything profound enough to say. However, since Friday, where 27 sets of parents lost their children I’ve had many phone calls. I haven’t talked to anyone, because how can I discuss the grief these parents are feeling? The unthinkable, unbelievable…there are no words to explain why this happens. I’m devastated, but not outwardly grieving. I’m devastated for these people because they will have to live through what I am living through, the loss of the most precious people in their lives, their children. But I look at this differently now, because I know God has a plan. I know Richard left this earth early for a reason, that I”m not privy to yet, but some day I will be. And I know with complete certainty that there is a reason that God has taken these children. Is it to get our attention? That he surely has. Is it gun control? I think its bigger than that. I don’t know what, but we need to move to another place in consciousness…where we can come together regardless of politics, religion and ridiculousness. These are our children! How can we live in a world where there are vulnerable to this type of tragedy? How can I live in a world where my bright, beautiful, son fell off a balcony during a spitting contest. Where 20 children are murdered by someone who is mentally ill? Life does not make sense, and I’ve got a lot of questions when I finally get to the afterlife. Why? What are we supposed to learn from tragedies like this?
Tonight I felt the need to write, because I need to get off my chest that after 16 months I still don’t know why Richard died, and I won’t for a long time to come…..and I have to live with that because I have to survive for my other sons, Richard’s twin Michael and his younger brother Robert.